January 30, 2012, Monday.

Wore my new top I got from F21. People said I look a lot skinnier today for some reason… &My hair was braided together & Yeah..

It’s been such a long day. Felt like a Tuesday for me. Let’s see. 1st period: Continued reading our book. That book really intrigues me. 2nd period: Review notes for exam. Played games most of the time. 3rd period: So close yet so far from finishing my painting. I get so frustrated since I can’t get the exact color I want. 4th period: Played hockey. Guys on my team and opponent’s team got way too aggressive. 5th period: Marine visitor stopped by. Really amused me. 6th period: Took a test &received my previous one back. I got a higher grade than all those smart kids around me, made me feel real good inside.

Lately, my life has really been scrambled around. Starting with my family. Everything just feels so out of place. Sadly, I’m in the middle of this problem. I can never talk this out with anyone because no one would understand the situation more than I do. As much as I vent to someone, no one would always be there for me and care for me. I guess this really is the start of life. Being on my own. I just wished I was back to my old life. When I was actually happy everyday. &No, I don’t mean being happy for just a moment, I mean the whole day. Or even a week. I want to wake up, knowing its going to be a good day and smile my way through the day. But someway somehow, my day gets ruined. I end my day upset or sad or even depressed. To the point where, I just can’t sleep. I could pull all nighters very easily now. Having thoughts on my mind that keeps me up. No one will ever understand. No one.

(*It’s easy to act all silly, smile, and say you’re ok. On the other hand, it’s more difficult to say exactly what’s on your mind and how you’re feeling.*)

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